Hannah is my name and it simply means
......FULL OF GRACE......
Love to bring lots of smile and love to everyone around with sincerity.
... Once upon a time...
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
August 2008
September 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
April 2009
June 2009
February 2010
March 2010
August 2010
January 2011
December 2007
January 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
August 2008
September 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
April 2009
June 2009
February 2010
March 2010
August 2010
January 2011
.....CREDITS/CHEERS TO.....
Monday, December 31, 2007
....END OF 2007....
Today is 31st December 2007; the last day of year 2007. Let me do a very quick recap on year 2007
Jan-March
Had a wonderful start of the year. I got my promotion at work to Training Specialist and my then boyfriend got promoted to Team Lead. Everything looks good for a start of the quarter. We are excited on both of our promotions and probably our future. This time is the time i thought was most benificial to our relationship. We went through the thick and thin. In ggod times for our promotion and in bad times during his hospitalization
April-June
We started to have conflicts and quarrels but still managable at least to my aspect. Didn't have any cake for my birthday this year; not much celebration. Cracks start to really appear in my relationship
July-Sep
We finally break off in early July. These three months was a hell to me. I didn't really understand the break up and the persistance. I lost myself, my sense and many more. I will smoke under my void deck till my mum switch off the lights. During this time, Mum is suspected of cancer. Under tremedous stress. Not sure how and what i should do also; darkest of my life. Went to Taiwan for a break away- Really can't take it anymore
Oct-Dec
Busiest time in terms of work! Super stress with the endless rollout of process, procedures and systems- manage to scrape through. I am still in malaysia now spending my last day of 2007 here. Have more peace but still not yet recover.
In summary, year 2007 is a super busy and stressful year for me; too many things happen at the same time. I lost faith and confidence of myself, i doubt my capabilities and i despise myself for everything i am at this year.
In year 2008, i wish that i will find my confidence, faith and most importantly my peace. I want to put back all the 2007 and look forward to an exciting and full of opportunities 2008
Jan-March
Had a wonderful start of the year. I got my promotion at work to Training Specialist and my then boyfriend got promoted to Team Lead. Everything looks good for a start of the quarter. We are excited on both of our promotions and probably our future. This time is the time i thought was most benificial to our relationship. We went through the thick and thin. In ggod times for our promotion and in bad times during his hospitalization
April-June
We started to have conflicts and quarrels but still managable at least to my aspect. Didn't have any cake for my birthday this year; not much celebration. Cracks start to really appear in my relationship
July-Sep
We finally break off in early July. These three months was a hell to me. I didn't really understand the break up and the persistance. I lost myself, my sense and many more. I will smoke under my void deck till my mum switch off the lights. During this time, Mum is suspected of cancer. Under tremedous stress. Not sure how and what i should do also; darkest of my life. Went to Taiwan for a break away- Really can't take it anymore
Oct-Dec
Busiest time in terms of work! Super stress with the endless rollout of process, procedures and systems- manage to scrape through. I am still in malaysia now spending my last day of 2007 here. Have more peace but still not yet recover.
In summary, year 2007 is a super busy and stressful year for me; too many things happen at the same time. I lost faith and confidence of myself, i doubt my capabilities and i despise myself for everything i am at this year.
In year 2008, i wish that i will find my confidence, faith and most importantly my peace. I want to put back all the 2007 and look forward to an exciting and full of opportunities 2008
Friday, December 14, 2007
...Memories still haunt as if it just happen yesterday...
Till now I am still haunted by memories. I dream of the times where I become “crazy.” Seriously I did not expect that it will haunt me like this; I really did not expect that the impact will be so great. Those bad dreams still make me tear in the middle of the night because I see myself cry so hard and bad in my dreams; it send a chill down my spine. Much as I wanted to let go but the dreams just continue to haunt me; keep reminding me of the hurts I gone through as though it happen just yesterday. I do not think I am crazy now because that is not my focus anymore but why did the dreams keep haunting me and reminding me. These dreams just don't make my day.
Will i ever recover? Seriously i don't know; The whole espisode is so dark and scary. To think of it now still makes me tear and cry. When will this stop haunting me? When will i feel less painful? When will i be braver and really move on? When will my wound heal? There are so many when; yet i do not have an answer for it. The only thing is to let natural take its course, let time makes the scars less visible and eventually heal.
Year 2007 is ending soon and I will have a great end this year. Will be having the 1st family Christmas party this year and will be going to Malaysia on the last few days of 2007. Let me think of what I would be blogging to close for the year 2007 and my new hopes for 2008.
So excited for the upcoming year 2008! How about you?
Will i ever recover? Seriously i don't know; The whole espisode is so dark and scary. To think of it now still makes me tear and cry. When will this stop haunting me? When will i feel less painful? When will i be braver and really move on? When will my wound heal? There are so many when; yet i do not have an answer for it. The only thing is to let natural take its course, let time makes the scars less visible and eventually heal.
Year 2007 is ending soon and I will have a great end this year. Will be having the 1st family Christmas party this year and will be going to Malaysia on the last few days of 2007. Let me think of what I would be blogging to close for the year 2007 and my new hopes for 2008.
So excited for the upcoming year 2008! How about you?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
-All the digustings things-
Many times we intentionally chose to hide things from others; usually the ugliest side of us. However, we seem to forget that others also have eyes to see and ears to hear. I still believe that paper is not able to cover fire, sooner or later; the paper will be burn too. You can deceive others but you know that you cannot deceive yourself. If you still say nothing is going on then I also have nothing to say. I am waiting... Really waiting… waiting for you to tell me, the hard to say truth; the truth that you have indeed betrayed my trust and beliefs in you.
Human are just like that; they hope to know the truth but they are scared to face it. I think I am such a person.
Something I thought over and over again today; and I feel so pissed! To this friend of mine also, whenever you talk to me, do not have to be so far away from me. Just because I rise my hand does not mean that I want to touch you. Caught you both time, and I was just gesturing my hand to point something at you or myself and yet you give that kind of shocked and back away gesture. You are not anybody of mine and I do not definitely have AIDS so do not have to react that way. In case you do not know, it is a very disgusting gesture of yours! Seriously enough is enough. If you still continue this kind of disgusting act, I can carry out my disgusting act too- DUN FORCE ME to this; for you will regret BIG time!
Today is such a cloudy and moody day.. Hope tomorrow will be better.. The sight of her makes my blood boil yet I have to be all smiley to her.. Feel like puking…
Human are just like that; they hope to know the truth but they are scared to face it. I think I am such a person.
Something I thought over and over again today; and I feel so pissed! To this friend of mine also, whenever you talk to me, do not have to be so far away from me. Just because I rise my hand does not mean that I want to touch you. Caught you both time, and I was just gesturing my hand to point something at you or myself and yet you give that kind of shocked and back away gesture. You are not anybody of mine and I do not definitely have AIDS so do not have to react that way. In case you do not know, it is a very disgusting gesture of yours! Seriously enough is enough. If you still continue this kind of disgusting act, I can carry out my disgusting act too- DUN FORCE ME to this; for you will regret BIG time!
Today is such a cloudy and moody day.. Hope tomorrow will be better.. The sight of her makes my blood boil yet I have to be all smiley to her.. Feel like puking…
Shopping spree over the last weekend
I keep reminding myself that I have to see no evil, hear no evil and do no evil. Even if I do see or hear any evil, I should do no evil. Sometimes things just like to evolve itself with no choice of yours, thus we really have to pretend not to hear or see it; whatever it is, it has nothing to do with me anymore so just be it.
This month, I am super overspent! My friend said that I am doing retail therapy; I am so stress and overwork in work. The numerous things I bought or spend on include:
(1) 1 ankle boot that cost $160
(2) 2 pairs of flats (cost $79 and $120 respectively)
(3) 2 pairs of sunglasses ( $600 in total- burberry and Levis)
(4) Signed 1 package of 6 manicures and 6 pedicures ($276- super worth it)
(5) 1 necklace from Taka jewellery ($300)
(6) Hair treatment package (I think is $575)
Look at these things that I spend on this month and its only 10th Dec today- I still owe someone this month’s money; looks like I have to have bread everyday from now.
Looking at the bright side of this, well at least I have my material things in front of me now and I have not had any major purchases since like August except that I spend about $500 to buy a gold wristlet for my mum. Thus, it do make up for this month’s spending. Still I ought to have control over my spending.. One more bright side to look at is that I will have my bonus plus cashing in all my 8 days of Annual leave at end of Dec. Hopefully by then, I will be able to pay all outstanding so that I do not owe my friend every month.
This month, I am super overspent! My friend said that I am doing retail therapy; I am so stress and overwork in work. The numerous things I bought or spend on include:
(1) 1 ankle boot that cost $160
(2) 2 pairs of flats (cost $79 and $120 respectively)
(3) 2 pairs of sunglasses ( $600 in total- burberry and Levis)
(4) Signed 1 package of 6 manicures and 6 pedicures ($276- super worth it)
(5) 1 necklace from Taka jewellery ($300)
(6) Hair treatment package (I think is $575)
Look at these things that I spend on this month and its only 10th Dec today- I still owe someone this month’s money; looks like I have to have bread everyday from now.
Looking at the bright side of this, well at least I have my material things in front of me now and I have not had any major purchases since like August except that I spend about $500 to buy a gold wristlet for my mum. Thus, it do make up for this month’s spending. Still I ought to have control over my spending.. One more bright side to look at is that I will have my bonus plus cashing in all my 8 days of Annual leave at end of Dec. Hopefully by then, I will be able to pay all outstanding so that I do not owe my friend every month.
Monday, December 03, 2007
...My super busy weekend...
On Saturday- Wake up in the morning, getting ready to go to work at 11am. Finish work and went dinner at LAU PA SAT with my new hire. Had satays, oyster egg, stingray and kailan oyster; it was way too much
You will say what? Hannah you must be kidding but really no joke.. I lost a lot of weight for no apparent reason. I don't know why too. I asked alot of people but they say no difference but the weighing machine shows that i am at least 5kg lighter! Don't know to be happy or worried...
On Sunday did lots of things. I clean my room but still no time to mop.. i think 1 month no mop liao.. eeee.... i went to do my once a month hair treatment and lastly i met up with HIM. I cried as the choir sings.. Its been so long i have such peace.. These days i am feeling very rush. Everything happens so quickly as though i have no time to catch my breathe.. But i am enjoying every bits..
You will say what? Hannah you must be kidding but really no joke.. I lost a lot of weight for no apparent reason. I don't know why too. I asked alot of people but they say no difference but the weighing machine shows that i am at least 5kg lighter! Don't know to be happy or worried...
On Sunday did lots of things. I clean my room but still no time to mop.. i think 1 month no mop liao.. eeee.... i went to do my once a month hair treatment and lastly i met up with HIM. I cried as the choir sings.. Its been so long i have such peace.. These days i am feeling very rush. Everything happens so quickly as though i have no time to catch my breathe.. But i am enjoying every bits..